Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Positive Post Tuesday

Sunday when we went to church with Amanda, the announcements were running on the big screens. I caught one right before it changed. It said something about addiction & recovery on Monday nights. I asked Amanda about it and she wasn't familiar with it. She only gets to her home church a few times a year now. Anyway, after church there was a flyer under the windshield. It was about that meeting! I asked Amanda if it would bother her if I went. I didn't want to break her anonymity without her permission.
I had another commitment with NA at 6pm. I am very active in the outreach programs we have in Amarillo and once a month we meet & coordinate and report on the past month's activities. It usually lasts an hour. As usual, when I had somewhere I wanted to be at 7, my NA meeting went til 7:40! Couldn't leave. I'm the secretary!
As soon as we closed, I bolted. I got to the meeting at the church at 7:45 and was welcomed with open arms! That meeting went to 8:20 (instead of 8). Met some great people. It is a meeting of both addicts and family members. It was different hearing the point of view of family members. It's so hard for non-addicts to understand addiction. It's just as hard to explain. On the other hand, our family members struggle with questions. "What did we do wrong?" "I am a bad parent". "We have tried everything". To hear their pain brings addiction full circle. As an addict, EVERYTHING was all about me. That self-centeredness and spiritual emptiness is hard for an addict to grasp, let alone the family members we hurt.
It's a small group and a little less structured than most meetings I've attended, but the goal is the same. Recovery. For both the addict and the family. And it's NOT a "higher power" group. It's a God centered group. When I told them how I came about coming, one gentlemen told me they put 500 flyers under windshields. He told me that my being there was a God thing. I totally agreed with him. No doubt in my mind. I needed this. I needed to be able to speak freely about what God is doing in my life. I feel so generic when I have to say "higher power". I feel like I'm hurting God's feelings.
I know NA has to be that way. So many that come through the doors of NA grew up with a fear of God. Or nothing spiritual in their lives, ever! God is scary to them, so it's important to ease people toward a concept of a power greater than themselves.
I think this new group will add a dimension to my recovery that I feel has been missing for the past 21 months. I have grown closer to God again & want to shout it out! My spiritual void has been refilled by working my program. Now that is positive!


Lisa said...

That is positive! And awesome! I'm so glad you were able to make it to this group. I know God will continue to heal those areas in your life that need His touch.

Kelly (race_12_1) said...

Those 500 flyers put out just to find you!! I know God is oging to continue to take you down this path and as He mods you the healing will happen. Sometimes it will come from places you least expect, when you are least expecting it, and that is when God is most glorified!