Sunday when we went to church with Amanda, the announcements were running on the big screens. I caught one right before it changed. It said something about addiction & recovery on Monday nights. I asked Amanda about it and she wasn't familiar with it. She only gets to her home church a few times a year now. Anyway, after church there was a flyer under the windshield. It was about that meeting! I asked Amanda if it would bother her if I went. I didn't want to break her anonymity without her permission.
I had another commitment with NA at 6pm. I am very active in the outreach programs we have in Amarillo and once a month we meet & coordinate and report on the past month's activities. It usually lasts an hour. As usual, when I had somewhere I wanted to be at 7, my NA meeting went til 7:40! Couldn't leave. I'm the secretary!
As soon as we closed, I bolted. I got to the meeting at the church at 7:45 and was welcomed with open arms! That meeting went to 8:20 (instead of 8). Met some great people. It is a meeting of both addicts and family members. It was different hearing the point of view of family members. It's so hard for non-addicts to understand addiction. It's just as hard to explain. On the other hand, our family members struggle with questions. "What did we do wrong?" "I am a bad parent". "We have tried everything". To hear their pain brings addiction full circle. As an addict, EVERYTHING was all about me. That self-centeredness and spiritual emptiness is hard for an addict to grasp, let alone the family members we hurt.
It's a small group and a little less structured than most meetings I've attended, but the goal is the same. Recovery. For both the addict and the family. And it's NOT a "higher power" group. It's a God centered group. When I told them how I came about coming, one gentlemen told me they put 500 flyers under windshields. He told me that my being there was a God thing. I totally agreed with him. No doubt in my mind. I needed this. I needed to be able to speak freely about what God is doing in my life. I feel so generic when I have to say "higher power". I feel like I'm hurting God's feelings.
I know NA has to be that way. So many that come through the doors of NA grew up with a fear of God. Or nothing spiritual in their lives, ever! God is scary to them, so it's important to ease people toward a concept of a power greater than themselves.
I think this new group will add a dimension to my recovery that I feel has been missing for the past 21 months. I have grown closer to God again & want to shout it out! My spiritual void has been refilled by working my program. Now that is positive!