Sunday, December 27, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

Last SSS for 2009. So I decided to show off one of my new Radko ornaments to celebrate. Had to send away to Texas to get it. The closest place here was out of them. The little gold sparkly thing with colored balls right below Snowtime '09 was what I used instead of garland. They are little sticks & there are 2 dozen of them stuck all over the tree.
Back to the SSS!
  • I made it through the weekend without crying! I've never had such a "small" Christmas. Just the 2 of us.
  • Ted had to break in a new trainee for pierogie making this year! We made a pretty good team, but I think Amanda & Ted are better at it! She comes in 12 days and wants to do it, too. Dad just wants her to relax. We'll just have to see who wins out!
  • The pierogies were great! Had some great Cod filets and fresh green beans. I made Chocolate Chess pie for dessert. Yum.
  • Christmas Day Ted made a prime rib roast & mashed potatoes. I made broccoli souffle. Again. Yum.
  • Went to see Avatar. It was pretty good. I saw Medicine Man meeting Lord of the Rings. It's been interesting to see other people try to describe it.
  • Steelers won on another poor performance. Not looking like the Super Bowl 20o9 Champs. At all. So little change in team dynamics, so where is last season's team?
  • Found out I don't qualify for any help with my licensing fees from unemployment. Beats me. Seems if I'm still on unemployment after a year & I'm not working & they need pharmacists, they would want me OFF unemployment & in the workforce.
  • Amanda LOVED her quilt and her Santa care package! She was glad Santa knew enough to use the USPS to deliver some of his gifts!
  • Have I mentioned she's coming to visit for 3 1/2 days in 12 days? Praying for great weather. Meaning I want the passes to be clear between here & Seattle!
It was a hard week, but God kept my spirit full & content. I'm so blessed to have found such a great network of friends over the past year!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday, but not really


So the scanner & I aren't the best of friends yet, so these pics are not the size I wanted. Maybe Amanda can give me pointers when she comes in 3 weeks! Anyway. A lady the worked with Ted at the hospital is an awesome, awesome seamstress. We saved every t-shirt over some 20 years. Places we visited. Places we played club volleyball. Colleges mom, dad, & Grandpa Kubicki went to. 5 leaf-sized garbage bags full. Literally, the night before the movers came, I was scrambling to pick shirts that were a good representation.
Today she opened the Christmas gift at my brother's. My SIL said no tears were shed, but the memories each shirt hold, made her catch her breath. And this is just the front! The seamstress even enclosed a note about this labor of love! I wish we could have been there, but this year things are new. This first Christmas apart has really opened my eyes to what Ted had to have felt his first Christmas apart from Heather & Colette so many years ago. Wow. And he never complained. Not once in 23 years. I am so blessed. And now I have a sense of those feelings he felt. And that the girls felt. God is so darn sneaky on teaching us lessons. And sometimes many years down the road. One never knows when the answer to that prayer or lesson will come. Certainly not in my timeframe!! She had no idea Mom & Dad had sent gifts for her to open today. Plus a mystery box. No-peeking-until-Christmas box. Hmmm. :D

And this is the back. The seamstress sent us these pics a couple of weeks ago so we could see it. We hadn't noticed, but she put the colleges on one side & mostly grade school & high school on the other. Observant child! Now she's going to pack it to bring with her in 3 weeks. Silly girl!
My SIL said is was made really well with a heavier, almost canvas like material. And then pieced together. I am amazed at the result. So many trips. So much history. Lots of sports. From Pirate baseball to Steeler football. From Penguin hockey to Penn State Nittany Lions. From the Steel Phantom coaster at Kennywood to In-n-out burgers. And, of course, "once a Sandie, always a Sandie". For her High School, the Amarillo Sandstorm, class of '05. It is a great work of art from a gifted woman. To another gifted woman.
I will post a picture of my counted-cross stitch tree skirt that she also finished for me. I did all the cross-stitching. She made it into a tree skirt. That's for later in the week. If I ever see the sun again, I will do a post on my ornament collection. After all I told Lisa I would! Just hasn't been good enough lighting to take pictures to capture their true artistry.
Hope I didn't get too sentimental. But, I just had to share it with you all.
Did I mention the STEELERS actually won today? After 5 losses in a row. With 3 seconds left. And the point after with time expired. Only 34 yards rushing, but 500+ yards passing. Most in some 2 years in the NFL.


Sunday, December 13, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

Today is Sunday & I haven't done a post in 2 weeks. I've been thinking a lot about this blog. I'm not doing what I wanted to when I started a year ago. I am seeing a new direction, but I need to pray for a little clearer vision. Or maybe I'm supposed to just take that step. But, it's Sunday, so keep it light, right?
  • We worked it out & Amanda is coming to visit on Jan 8th. 3 1/2 whole days. I'm excited. She's excited. Flying here on Alaska Airways & back on Southwest. Cheap. Both prices went down at least once before she booked. In a 3 day span. God was helping us watch our pennies.
  • I made the above stocking for Amanda's 2nd Christmas. I started it before her 1st, but didn't get it finished.
  • She has no idea, but it is filled & on the way to my brother's. She is going to spend next Sunday with them for a family Christmas. It's been several years since spending the Holiday with them. She'll have gifts from Mom & Dad to open. She doesn't know that, though. Stocking box is for Christmas morning.
  • Will post pics next week of the big item we had made for her. Just in case she comes to read this. Whoops! Guess if she does, she has no idea what!
  • She sent our gifts the other day. She & her roommate, Allison, did a joint card. 2 cute pics. One from move-in weekend, the other a professional shot. With Allison's little fur-ball, Sophie, who does not sit still!
  • I'm trying not to be lonely this Christmas. I do have so much to be thankful for. It's hard to give up traditions, though.
  • Amanda has already warned her dad that they will be making pierogies. In our small little kitchen. Just a couple of weeks late!
Been thinking a lot this week about winners. Winners in life. Winners in recovery. We are all winners when we are carrying the message of God's Son who came to us in a miraculous birth some 2000 years ago! Heard a great sermon this morning via streaming internet from Table Rock Fellowship in Medford, OR. Isaiah's vision of what the birth of Jesus will be like. How un-royal-like it will be. Even though He will be a Prince. The things the prophets of the Old Testament foretold never really clicked for me like this sermon did this morning. Awesome stuff.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

I know it's been a while. What's up with me?
  • Took this yesterday. Turned out not so bad. At least from an old digital camera with few bells & whistles.
  • We drove 90 min west into the real beginning of the Cascades to a town called Leavenworth. It is all things Bavarian. From the McDonalds sign to the Wells Fargo sign.
  • Even people in some of the shops were dressed German style.
  • There are so many shops. Lots of people.
  • Even horse & carriage rides. (we didn't do that)!
  • We both had bratburgers. They were really good. So many food establishments. Many had traditional German fare. Yet, we could have chosen Mexican or Italian, too.
  • It was very foggy here when we left, but only partly cloudy up there. Not as much snow as I expected, but it's early. Heard a shopkeeper mention that the snow pattern has changed alot over the past 50 years. Not as much snowfall anymore. Not sure what "not as much" is.
  • Steelers play today with 3rd stringer, Dennis Dixon. Big Ben out with headaches from last weeks concussion. Charlie Batch broke his hand on the 1st play in for Ben. Don't feel a woo hoo coming on. :(
  • Ole Miss went down to MS State in the annual Egg Bowl. Baylor actually gave Tech a run for their money in Arlington at the new Cowboy Stadium. But, in the end....
  • Off to a PR gathering this afternoon. Helping to light a fire under some groups that seem to be struggling.
  • Oh, and time to try & put tree up. Ted finally has all the parts for the shelves we bought from a friend. So he's going to put those together in the garage & sort through what comes in for Christmas decorations.
Well, I'm off to get ready for my short road trip to Moses Lake. Everyone have a blessed day. :)

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday


Another Sunday has zoomed in. A very long week.
  • Listening to Jars of Clay's "Redemption Songs". That kind of day.
  • Spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday mornings at SkillSource in Moses Lake. All to get a job "trainer". Hoping it will lead to financial help with app fees for reciprocity. SkillSource is separate from Unemployment and federally funded for retraining of people back to the workforce. Appt with trainer Thursday.
  • Applied for and got a WA license. Picture leaves a lot to be desired! Ha! Also got 1 vehicle registered.
  • Have enjoyed visiting with friends around the world while listening to the Mercyme fall tour with Tenth Ave North & Jonny Diaz. Fee played the 1st few venues, but had Passion commitments, so TAN joined up this week. Neat bunch of guys.
  • Stupid blogspot is messing with my font size today. Have to reset with every new bullet.
  • Made a chocolate cake yesterday. Had the layers cooling on the rack. Zipper from hoodie caught rack & when I turned? Yes, the cake hit my clean floor! Rescued most & repaired with frosting. But,I'm out of Wet Jet pads. Of course.
  • Still no snow this low, but am seeing a little more each day on the Cascades to the West. I know Amanda is itching to come visit.
  • Amanda starts a 2nd job with Gymboree. She loved working there in Waco. She quit only because it was interfering with school. She actually knows the lady who is manager at the store she will be at. She is hoping for a permanent, FT position. She loves the spa, but if she can get back into retail, I think she will enjoy it more.
  • Finally hung the last of the pictures. Still have a dishpack full of pics that didn't make the cut! Ted still needs to hang sports stuff in the hall bath & home "office".
  • I am still stuck on Step 4. All the resentments. Some seem too trivial to write down, but if I hang on to them, that part of me will not heal. So many "open cuts". Hanging on is adding salt to the wound! I don't want that. Ironic that "Hiding Place"is playing right now! Thanks, Dan (JOC lead singer). With God as my cushion, I will persevere. It's a soft place to land. Right in His arms. Thank goodness.
Have a blessed week. :)

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

SSS/PPT


Since I haven't posted in a few days and it's my blog, I'm going to combine SSS & PPT. And the above pic can be for Wordless Wednesday! Thru my dirty windshield, way in the distance, about the center (looks like a cloud) is Mt Ranier with snow on top. Took my breath away & it's still way further west than I was on Sunday. God's Glory is all around us. Close or in the distance. No matter! These peaks are starting to "pop" with the snow on top. Wow!
Here's my past couple of days in bullets:
  • Went west to Ellensburg, Wa Sunday for an NA Area meeting. It's a business meeting of all the groups in our area. Worked on Area in the Panhandle. Now, I'm just observing. It is a huge group compared to Amarillo!
  • Ted stayed home & watched football. Steelers were on a bye week.
  • Yesterday & today (and tomorrow) I have spent the mornings at the SkillSource office in Moses Lake (35 mi). I am hoping for assistance with my reciprocity fees & law exam fees. To be assigned a trainer you have to do this 3 day thing. I hate it, but I have learned a few things. Keeping a positive attitude about me is #1.
  • After "class" I went to the DMV to get an Driver's License. In WA they have an Enhanced DL. It works like a passport at half the cost & it fits in your wallet. No good for flying, but by land or sea. Mexico, Canada, the Bermudas, and much of the Caribbean. Only problem? Only place within 100 miles is 30 mi the other way from Quincy. Got regular license & can upgrade for $15. Already established residency.
  • Oh, and it took 2 hrs! Did register to vote while there.
  • Got license plates for car. Will do Tahoe in 2 weeks. Got insurance moved over and got Renters insurance.
  • Guess that means I'm staying! Ha!
  • Excited about all the new releases today! From Steven Curtis Chapman to Shane & Shane to Pocket Full of Rocks. Can't afford everyone today. SCC will stream live from his FB page tonight at 9PM CST. Also, Paul Balouche released a great worship CD today..
Ok. All caught up. I think. Be Blessed.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

Can't decide on a picture for today. Cold & dreary would describe today. The rest in bullet points.
  • WE ARE ON THE INTERNET HIGHWAY AT HOME!!! It was a long 7 weeks without internet. I never dreamed I would tire of Starbucks! I think had there been somewhere in Quincy with free wi-fi, I wouldn't have grown so tired.
  • Steelers won. Beating the undefeated Vikings and the Great Brett Favre. WOO HOO!
  • TJ is representing the BlogNation faithful tonight in Montgomery. And this afternoon at the tweet & greet.
  • Hooked up our old scanner yesterday. It took a few tries. Something about a "twain" driver. Thanks to Canon for having such a great website for their older hardware.
  • Now realizing how badly I need an external hard drive. Down to 1%. Defrag program won't even run with that little bit of space left. It's always something.
  • Ted enjoying his new job. Staying busy.
  • Trying to decide where to go for our next day trip.
  • The smell of apples is fading as the pickers finish the last of the orchards. This is amazing produce country. I thought it was Cali & S Texas. Not Central Washington.
Everyone have a great Monday. :)

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

Made the trip to Wenatchee to Starbucks. For free internet. On a Sunday. With a headache, here are some random thoughts on a Sunday.
  • Hope we get internet this week.
  • Only drove today to file unemployment payment request. *sigh*
  • Am going to take a 3 day Career Assessment in November so I can talk to a "SkillSource" trainer. To see if unemployment might help me with my reciprocity fees.
  • It's $330 to file app & $185 for the law exam. And a 7 hour course for HIV/AIDS. And a birth certificate. And transcripts.
  • Finally have a new sponsor. She is a drug & alcohol counselor with the State. She has 20+ years clean.
  • Amanda climbed a real outdoor rock wall. Never done it before. Her adrenaline level was thru the roof yesterday!
  • dc* b was in Seattle (Federal Way) last night. And Spokane tomorrow night.
  • Cross-stitching a Snowman family out cutting their Christmas tree. Big, 11 x 14. Lots to keep me busy when I'm not getting my 4 meetings a week in.
  • Ted's making dinner, so I better run.
We'll talk soon. :)




Sunday, October 4, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday


This is a picture looking West as I drop into the Basin driving to Wenatchee. I love this drive. I make it 3 to 4 times a week. A lady the other day said it was a boring drive. It's anything, but. The beauty of God's hand is EVERYWHERE. And it's awesome. Well, it's Sunday and I'm at Starbucks, but need to get home for kickoff.
  • Still no internet. Hopefully in next week. Don't understand the wait for equipment just because I have fiber-optics. Anyone have an answer?
  • Amanda wanted to try & fly here for the weekend. She had Sat, Sun off for ACL (Austin City Limits) and then got Mon, Tues off. Her dad told her to wait til there was snow so she could ski, too. :(
  • Been here 5 weeks. Wow.
  • Just need to purchase some garage shelving to put last of boxes away. Stacked in office for now.
  • Movers came back & picked up the broken-down boxes this week. About 70 of them. Boy is there room in the garage now.
  • Would love to go to Seattle in 2 weeks to see dc*b, but it just isn't gonna work. :(
  • Need to get an EDL (Enhanced driver's license). It works like a passport at the border when traveling by ground. (not air travel). We are about 3 hours from the Olympics. The ski resort in Wenatchee is the practice mountain for the Olympics.
  • Finally fall here. Cooler temps & lots of apple orchards being picked. Lots of apples. Everywhere. They are wonderful!
  • Someone brought fresh raisins to the clinic. They are so sweet, they taste like they are chocolate-covered.
  • Be back soon on a daily basis. Have missed a lot, I know
Have a blessed week. :)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

I am writing a post! I am at Starbucks. Again. Internet service is a process here. It's under the "Public Utility District". We are in a fiberoptics area, but will take up to 30 days for equipment. So confusing. On to bullet points. Quick because I just missed kick-off.

  • The pic above was snapped from the stage at The Gorge. 10 miles S of Quincy. You know, where there was a little festival in August. Hawk, dc*b, and the like. What a background! We were there for a Chamber of Commerce event.
  • Attendance at said festival was way down this year. From 20,000 to about 11,000. We spoke with the caretaker for a while. He's from Calgary. He's been caretaker since they built it 20 years ago.
  • Dave Mathews recorded one of his live CD's here. He was just here for the 10th Labor Day weekend in a row. He played all 3 days. No, I didn't go.
  • Almost completely unpacked. In less than 2 weeks. Finally becoming a home. Pictures going up. Plants adjusting.
  • Even have a bed for visitors (Amanda) put up. Small, but comfortable.
  • Miss having the internet daily.
  • Miss reading other blogs.
  • It is absolutely beautiful here. Even without the trees & mountains. But, they are very, very close.
  • Oldest step-daughter & Amanda are already looking at ski venues in our area. Quite a few within an hour.
  • Been visiting various NA groups. Still haven't found a home group or a new sponsor. It's only been 3 weeks. Even attended an area meeting already. Can you say service?
  • Did I mention I miss reading blogs?
Time to head back for the game. Already missed kick-off. Maybe next week. Don't know.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

Sorry I haven't posted lately. We have been incredibly busy these past 2 weeks. Amanda came home for 1 1/2 days to sort through things. Brought and empty suitcase & then took a carry-on from us. Both crammed full of clothes & other belongings. Her other request was to take pictures in front of her house. So we did. We have the most wonderful neighbors. Both retirees. Husband loves photography. He's pretty darn good. He has taken probably half our Christmas card pics over the 20 years in our home. On to bullet points.
  • Packers come on Wednesday. Estimated 2 days to pack.
  • Movers come Friday to load our belongings and the Tahoe. The Tahoe will be full of plants! Can't leave those! Some are going to good homes.
  • Not looking forward to the 1700 mile ride. The scenery, yes. Doing it in 2 days, not so much.
  • Downsizing is hard! All the closets are empty, except for our bedroom & the coat closet.
  • Garage sale was Thursday & Friday. We had an amazing turn-out. Even on Thursday (not a traditional day). Made our travel money.
  • Renting a storage unit tomorrow. Haven't found a babysitter for the piano, yet. The dining room stays here. We are moving into a 3 BR duplex. 1500 sq ft (from 2300). Don't want to sell the DR set.
  • Am going to my last Amarillo NA mtg today. It's getting hard to say good-bye.
  • My home group took me to lunch Friday. It was great! 9 of us. I have pics, but someone (me) accidentally threw away the cord from the camera that had the USB on it. It has a memory stick that works on the laptop, but am not on it! Both my sponsors were there (my 1st relapsed, but is still a great woman in recovery).
  • A friend who moved a few months ago was in town & came, too. Then he paid for everyones lunch! I knew there was a reason I missed him!
  • Yesterday was Unity Day. There is an NA World convention every 2 years. This year it was in Barcelona, Spain. Unity Day has been going on since 1993. It is where you can hook into the last night's meeting & speakers. We did that yesterday! It was unbelievable to listen to the readings in 8 different languages! There were over 100 hook-ups! From India to Australia. From Hawaii to Iran. From Egypt to Washington. From El Paso to Guatemala. Amazing. Simply amazing.
  • Keep us in prayer. We are tired & sore. But, we keep on keepin' on.
  • Ted starts work in 10 days! Yeah!
OK, I'm tired of typing & have a lot to do. Not sure when I'll post again. I'll try with the laptop if I can find wi-fi in our travels. Love you guys! This pic says it all. Can you see the tear drops on my post.


Sunday, August 9, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday, a little different today

This is a picture of the MercyMe guys last November in Amarillo. One of the earlier trial & error shows getting ready to stream the RAWRS live from a new venue every night. Lots of artists have streamed live before, but not every night from a new spot. With new adventures every day. It started me on a great adventure! Blogging, a facebook page, twitter, and friends from all around the world. Coming together as the Body of Christ. I am so grateful for this one night! Someone wrote recently reminding me that there really is no luck or coincidence in life. It's always, always God. Today's meeting was on gratitude without attitude. The guys above went through such a tragedy yesterday in Ft Wayne, In. I praise God none of them were injured. Where is the gratitude in 2 people in the other vehicle dying & the 35 week old fetus of the driver, who remains in critical condition? These seasons don't always make sense. God doesn't answer us in our time! As I type this iTunes shuffle is playing dc*b's "Never Let Go". Oh, my, goodness! "When clouds brought rain and disaster came". He is there. "ever faithful, ever true". Why can't we be like that. I seem to strive for that and I can do better. Gratitude without attitude.
I have been so melancholy the past few days with the final decision to move to Quincy, Wa. 1600 miles from my home of 27 years. Over half my life! I haven't stopped to say thank-you. And mean it. There is so much to do! 20 years in the same house! Ted & I are organizing our days. What room or closet to tackle when. What to take (we will be downsizing for now), what to store, what to store for Amanda, and what to give to various charities. Downtown Women's Center. Habitat's ReStore. Salvation Army. Sell the house or rent.
Guess I got off-track today with no bullet points! Way off! Started off with the guys above & rambled my way into moving! I can honestly say I am not excited about what the next 3 weeks hold, but I'm getting better. New friends waiting for me to meet. New NA groups. New places to explore. I've already checked the fall concerts out for Washington, N. Oregon, and N Idaho. Maybe meet up with those wonderful peeps from W Wendover, NV in Boise. In November. God is good to me. He has set me up with all kinds of survival tools for those first few days & weeks.
My biggest obstacle now is to find some serenity at leaving my baby! She will be 23 in a month & I will be another 1600 miles further away from her! I know she is "on her own", but it's hard. I don't remember being this melancholy when she went to Germany for a summer! Or when she went to college. Keep me in your prayers. I know they are already working on my heart & my head. So they get on the same page. Love you guys! :)

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Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Positive Post Tuesday


"Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love." 1 Cor 16:1


Jeremy Camp tweeted this verse earlier this evening. In fact, it seems that God put several references to faith in my life today. From my NA meeting at noon to tweets all afternoon. Bible verses. Quotes. All directed at me! Someone's blog the other day reminded me that there is no luck, no fate, no coincidences in life. They are all God-directed pieces to the puzzle of our life. The pieces fit together so much better when we stop & listen to what God must be screaming at us! "That piece doesn't go there! Listen to me! It would fit perfect there if you would just take a step back & look at the direction I'm pointing you in!" I can imagine how many times God shakes His head in frustration at all of us trying to put the puzzle together OUR way.
Back to the faith thing. The above picture is part of the front of my home of 20 years. The yard my husband takes such care with. 20 years of memories. 20 years of stuff. Our lives are getting ready to change dramatically. Whether it is a move to Washington in roughly 3 weeks, or staying in Texas, but another part of the state. I'm having a tough time! I trust God, but I don't! I have faith that God is in control, but I just want to tweak His control just a teeny tiny bit! My sweet sister-in-law reminded me the other day that, yes, one door had closed, and that God would open another, but I couldn't just go barging in through a door I open. I have to wait on God's timing. But, I want the answer now. In bright neon lights so I don't miss it! And she also reminded me of Proverbs 3:5-6: Remember that God's plan is always, yes always, better than anything we can dream or imagine!
It doesn't matter where our decisions take us. #1 I know God will be there. All the way. #2 We have each other. #3 I know Amanda is a great woman of faith & that no matter where I am, God is always watching over her. Wonderful, I just made myself cry! Doggone it! This is one of the hardest things I've dealt with in a long time. I think it may even be harder than getting clean. Oh, and #4 Recovery is available wherever I go.
I'm scared, but with all the positive reinforcement from so many friends, I can & will survive! No matter what.

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Sunday, August 2, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday


Today marks my niece's 1 year anniversary! They are busy moving into a new town & house. She is a basketball coach & now will be teaching 5th grade math. They are so cute! Say hello to Cody & Nicole Chapman. Now for the rest in bullets.
  • We drove to my brother's last Friday to borrow his pick-up so we could move Amanda's stuff that was put in storage in Waco after graduation. She moved into her new apartment on Saturday. Went well, but it was oh so hot & humid! She is all settled. And in her own bed again!
  • She has made great friends already. Met 3 of them last weekend. Didn't stay for church Sunday since we needed to return pick-up to my brother.
  • On the ride down to my brother's we decided not to take the job in Washington. I would expand my search to include most of Texas, then Ted find a job second. It is such a hassle to reciprocate my license. Plus about $1000 non-refundable cash before I even know if they will accept me with my license on probation. They still want us to come, so they called licensing people & had them call me. Still a lot of "what ifs".
  • I have a phone interview with Target for a job in the Dallas area on Tuesday morning. Also, hopefully with Kroger for the same area.
  • I hate being in the not-knowing. I know this a test of surrender & faith. It's still hard. Same community for 25+ years. Same house for 20. Jeremy Camp, Natalie Grant, and Bebo Norman here on November 7th.
  • Am filling in for a friend who is a pharmacist at a rehab hospital here. Thursday & Friday. A little different that what I'm used to,but excited all the same. Dealing with Drs & nurse's vs customers. I've done that, but it's been about 10 years. Pray!
  • Working will mess with my unemployment, so pray for a rapid paper trail. Thankfully, my unemployment was extended under the Emergency stimulus stuff. Obama's not all bad. It's a morsel compared to our normal income, but it's been such a blessing.
That's long enough. Got to get back into step-work on this lazy afternoon. Or maybe another chapter of "Crazy Love". Francis Chan writes from the Spirit within. He makes the hard stuff easier. I read a sentence or two & it's like "duh! I knew that!". Will keep you all updated.

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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Positive Post Tuesday

The picture is from Christmas Eve 2008. Every Christmas Eve my sweet husband makes dozens of pierogies. Amanda has helped the last several years. It's become quite the tradition for them. I'm trying not to think too far ahead, because I will just cry. It's about 99% sure we'll be moving to the State of Washington & who knows what Christmas Eve 2009 holds. I know, this is supposed to be positive!
In recovery we try to measure time in spans no longer than 24 hours. Sometimes it's hard. I want to know what tomorrow holds. Today. I am not always patient with God. But, He's always patient. Always there. Always knows what tomorrow holds. (whisper in my ear, would you please?).
All I can see is the negative. Kinda like when I went into treatment 2 years ago. It wasn't my fault. That stupid Pharmacy Board! Everyone was wrong & had it in for me. What did Andy Stanley remind folks of Sunday? Who is the common denominator in all your troubles? Well, duh. It's ME!!
All the "what-ifs" keep dragging me down, when I know God is there saying keep your eyes forward! Quit looking back. It's over. It's done. It's the past. When running the good race, looking back can shave time off your sprint. Keeping taking that next step of faith. Give your worries up & quit taking them back!! "What if" I had not stolen from my employer to supplement my prescriptions? "What if" I had looked into treatment a full year before the Compliance Officer from the Board came knocking? It all comes back to the common denominator. Me.
If I hadn't done the things I did, we wouldn't be looking at moving thousands of miles away. We wouldn't be in the financial crisis we're in. I try not to blame myself, but the disease of addiction is tricky. It wants me to feel pain. It wants me to be in a constant pity-party. It wants me to numb the world around me again. Always. Every second of the day.
And therein lies the positiveness of today. I choose NOT to give into that. Well, maybe a little. Not numbing the world around me has, in turn, given the world back to me. Without the use of drugs. Without the guilt & shame. God has re-entered my life & my heart is once again full with the Holy Spirit. I want to share my faith & my recovery with others.
Recovery talks about giving back what was so freely given to me. Doesn't that sound familiar? Recovery may not like to use the word God, for fear of scaring people away, but most 12 step programs are taken from the original, AA. Back in the 1930's they wrote some magical steps on how to recover. Taken straight from the Bible. The Bible is never mentioned or quoted in most 12 step literature, but it jumps off the page for people like me who are familiar with the Bible. It's sad to see the number of people who come once & never return. Scared of who they might find behind those frightened eyes.
Just for today, I am trying to stay positive. Just the thought of leaving my home of 20 years is sad enough. 5 walk-in closets to sort through. 20 years of memories. They are just that. I have pictures. I have my memories. The only house Amanda remembers (she was almost 3).
Keep us in prayer as we make a huge transition in our lives. Reluctantly. I don't feel like God is telling me one way or the other. I feel like I've been listening. Really hard. Maybe because it's not the answer I want? Denial, I am familiar with you!

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Sunday, July 19, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday


Well, it's been a long day, but I now have a few minutes to do that SSS thing that many of us do. Bullet points because no one reads blogs on Sunday. So make it simple!

  • Listening to "Glory Revealed II" while typing. Kind of reminds me of Bart & the "Hymned" music.
  • Going to Austin Friday to move Amanda's stuff from Waco to her very own apartment in Austin. Driving to my brother's on Friday & staying the night. Borrowing his pick-up & meeting Amanda in Waco Saturday morning at the storage unit where stuff has been awaiting her return since graduation in May!
  • She found a great roommate and got to sign the lease without a guarantor (ie Dad). She felt pretty old that day! She's had bills in her name by herself, but not an apartment.
  • Ted was offered the job in Washington. Quincy if you want to see where it's at. Need to make a final decision by Tuesday the 21st.
  • Week has been a blur since I worked 3 days. Just filled in at the pharmacy where I was laid off. It was good to see friends & just work.
  • Got my 2 year medallion on Friday with the friend I went through treatment with. Her 2 years wasn't until Thursday. I always wait for her to celebrate our clean time.
  • Think I'll buy my Jeremy Camp/Natalie Grant/Bebo Norman ticket now. They come here on November 7th (I think). Switchfoot & The Afters are here on a Wednesday afternoon in August. At the park across the street from me! How exciting!
  • Love the Mango Cherry Cooler thing from Sonic. Loads of juice & smushed up pineapple in the bottom. Kind of a pain with the pieces get stuck in the straw, but that does not deter me from drinking it!
In case I don't post next Sunday, don't worry, I'll be back late Sunday. :)

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Sunday, July 12, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday


I borrowed the above image from my friend, Brody. The Sunday blog everyone waits for. Random thoughts in bullet points, since no one reads blogs on Sunday! (I do).
  • I am going to work the next 3 days. At the pharmacy I was laid off from. It is to fill in while one of the other pharmacist's is on vacation. I am excited. I really miss working.
  • I celebrated 2 years free from pain & muscle relaxer drugs yesterday. Recovery is a wonderful thing. I have met so many wonderful people. I am re-discovering myself. No need to numb myself or the life around me.
  • I just came from a "home show" in one of the newer housing developments in Amarillo. It was put on as a fund raiser for a dear friend who has melanoma and is not doing well. She is a wonderful caterer.
  • Still no jobs for us. Ted went to the State of Washington earlier in the week for a face-to-face interview. Should hear something this week.
  • Went on a West Texas road trip yesterday. With 2 NA friends. We went to Midland (4 hrs away) for an NA regional meeting. I represent the Panhandle area as an alternate. The other person couldn't go. I loved listening to the other 2. They have 25+years between them & have a lot of recovery wisdom to share with a "2" year old. Left at 7am, meeting at 1, finished at 5, home at 9. We did have lunch in there somewhere!
  • Really hot here again today. Broke a record 1 day, tied it another. Was 112 just East of us. That is nuts.
  • Hope the alarm clock still works. (just kidding. Used it yesterday)
  • Need to iron a couple of pairs of slacks. Guess I better get after it! It's too hot to iron.
  • What's for dinner? It's 5:10 & I have no idea. Hmmmm.
Have a blessed week. :)

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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Positive Post Tuesday

I've been trying to stay in a positive frame of mind today. My husband is in the State of Washington today. He had a job interview in the middle part of the state. Moses Lake/Quincy area. It would to run a type of rural health clinic in Quincy. It took him nearly 12 hours from the time I dropped him at the airport until he finally got to the motel room in Moses Lake. And he gets to do it all over again tomorrow. He liked the area. Forgot to make him take the camera. Hope he brings back some info. I have "googled" the area. Checked the Pharmacy reciprocity. It is more cumbersome than Colorado would have been. And it remains to be seen how a state will handle a license on probation. I'll cross them waters if they come.
On another positive note, Amanda signed a lease on an apartment in Austin for the 25th of July. It is a 2 bedroom that she will share with a friend. They looked at several & this was the one that fit their needs. Except for a washer & dryer. There are hook-ups. Now to undo what we did 2 months ago in Waco. Clean out the storage unit & make a final (for at least a year) move to Austin. She keeps running into people she either knows or knows through others. The girl that checked her out at the grocery store yesterday was a friend of her dorm mates from her freshman year at Baylor. The randomness of life!
This time of year always finds me contemplating where I was 2 years ago. Two years ago I was an addict in denial. No way was I a "junkie". Other people might be. I judged them everyday at work. God has so blessed me. He keeps giving me the gift of recovery. Every day. Two years ago I could have made the decision to give up. Not fight for my license. Not fight for my life. Thank God, I didn't. I chose recovery and what a difference it has made in my life. On Saturday, July 11th, I celebrate 2 years clean. It has not been easy, but it has been simple. God has given me new eyes and some awesome friends. Not just superficial friends or social friends, but people who have been where I have been. At my bottom. Only God could have done this. I just need to continue to carry the message of recovery and how blessed my life is-no matter the unemployment! I am not ashamed anymore. Well, maybe a little, but I can look you in the eye now & not feel guilt when speaking. My heart overflows with the need to stay clean, continue my recovery, and pass it on to the newcomer. Life is too short.

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Sunday, July 5, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday


Note: I did not take the above picture. But, I read somewhere that a picture at the top of your blog brings interest to the blog. Thanks, Picasa for the loan!
It's Sunday (again)! So, what better to do? A post in bullet points.

  • Husband is packing for his 3 day adventure to the NW. He has never been to Washington State. He has a job interview on Tuesday with a Rural Health Clinic in the middle of the state.
  • When he comes back on Wednesday, he flies Seattle > Portland > Dallas. The weird thing is this. My brother, sister-in-law, & niece will be in Portland at a Basketball tourney. They fly today, come home Thursday.
  • The sister to the niece mentioned above, lives about 80 miles from us. She is the woman's basketball coach for a 1A team. She will soon start her 2nd year there. She got married 11 months ago, but has been so busy they haven't had time to drive here for a visit. We went to several games last winter. They came yesterday to grill out. It was great to finally get to meet her husband & get to know him. We visited for hours! Now he wants to come back for more of my husband's cooking and to talk sports!
  • The aforementioned niece & Amanda were born 29 days apart. Nicole is the older of the two and started Kindergarten a year before Amanda. One born in August, the other September.
  • Turned 52 on Wednesday. Don't feel any older. I think age is just a number.
  • Watched fireworks from the front yard instead of walking the 4 blocks to have an unobstructed view. We watched with several neighbors. They were, as usual, fantastic. My 1 neighbor is a great photographer. I should have had him send me 1 of his photos!
  • Amanda's free "celebrity" haircut went well. Giving up her Mon & Tues mornings off for the before & after shots, color, cut, make-up, promotion for the stylist taking over the salon in August. And she had to work her regular shifts of 2-10pm. They were long days, but she had Wed & Thurs off & spent it with friends from Waco, Dallas, & College Station.
  • We will probably go to Austin & then to Waco to help her move from the storage unit to her final destination in Austin. Move-in is in 3 weeks. She has friends with pick-ups.
  • Coming up on 2 years clean. Saturday, July 11th. Wow. Where I was 2 years ago was not a place I'm proud of, but by God's grace, I'm starting to forgive myself. I have to be able to forgive myself, before I can forgive others. Resentments I have against myself are hard. But, I have a great sponsor who is guiding me on this journey. And great friends, too.
Hope everyone had a great weekend. :)

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Sunday, June 28, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

It's time for that time-honored tradition. Stats Suck Sunday. Bullet points. Makes it quicker to read on a Sunday when you feel too lazy to read.

  • This a pic Amanda took in Germany in 2006 when she interned for a summer for and iWitness missionary.
  • Ted is flying to the center of the state of Washington for a face-to-face interview next Monday. For the director of a rural health clinic. Long way from home....Prayers, please.
  • Went to a nearby (an hour away) lake yesterday for a little fellowship with other recovering addicts & families. Ted drove & a friend of mine rode down with us.
  • Got a little sunburned on the back of my arms & neck. Thought I was in the shade! Didn't get in the water, but watched others in the water, on the boats, on the jet skis. Lots of good food!
  • Heard a couple of people from the Lubbock area talk about recovery. One was a young (23) lady who is passionate about recovery & the availability of recovery for people her age.
  • Amanda decided she met some women this week that should audition for "Housewives of Dallas"!
  • Had 2 inches of rain in under an hour last night (before we got home) that flooded parts of I-40. It was closed until the water cleared & stranded vehicles were removed.
  • I turn 52 on Wednesday. Sometimes I feel older. A box from Crate & Barrel came, but I'm not allowed to shake it or open it until my birthday. My daughter LOVES Crate & Barrel. Hmmm, wonder who it's from?
  • Wish I was going to DisneyWorld with Evan for my birthday this week! Ha!
  • I can't ride the roller coasters anymore, so not sure about what to do there!
  • We have 5 walk-in closets with 20 years worth of stuff to clean if we have to move. Boo. To both cleaning closets & moving. I don't like change. Especially big changes.
  • Love listening to my Dallas RAWRS. Could listen to Brother Bart all day long. "I love you Lord, and I lift my voice..."
Will try to post a PPT. No excuse for not doing it last week.
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Sunday, June 21, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday



It's Sunday. It's Father's Day. It's my anniversary.

  • Father's Day. It's a little sad for me because I am estranged from my parents today. It makes it kind of hard, but the energy I used to put in to worrying about my parents is better used in living my life. For me. For my family.
  • Amanda gave Ted a Roberto Clemente card that he's had his eye on for a while. She called & talked to Ted's buddy that has a sports memorabilia store & I picked it up. He was excited.
  • Today marks 23 years of marriage. It was a beautiful day except it was very windy. Time flies when you're having fun! I can go wild at Barnes & Noble with my present. I got Ted a box of freshly made nonpareils (sno-caps) for his gift. Dark chocolate. Made here in town.
  • He got excited because he thought it meant we were going to the movies! Not today, dear.
  • Long day for me. Meeting at 12:30. Area meeting at 2. Graduation party at 6:30. A friend's son graduated with his Masters over the weekend. In Milwaukee. Party here.
  • Think we are done with rain for a few days! Whew. Could almost hear ark workers this past week.
  • Still no job offers for either of us....
Everyone have a blessed day.

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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Positive Post Tuesday

Wow! It worked, it really worked. I stole this benice (be nice) symbol from this guy who really like Positive Post Tuesday. He wants to take PPT to another level by using '+' after tweets, FB entries, comments, etc. The '+' signifies a positive post. Using a '-' means not so positive a post. So here is my positive post for today.
As many of you know I am an addict in recovery. 706 days today. In a little over 3 weeks I will have 2 years. I am very much involved in a 12 step program. I have a sponsor, I attend meetings, I do service work (chair meetings, etc), and I work the steps. Sort of. I have been lax in working the steps. I hate to write. Always hated essay questions on tests. Hated writing term papers. God elbowed me in the ribs a couple of weeks ago and it "suddenly" occurred to me that I needed to get back into the steps. I finished my 3rd step with my sponsor last week and this week started Step 4. I know that in order to retain my sanity, I must be compliant with all areas of recovery. How can I help a newcomer if I'm not helping myself? So, I've started the "dreaded" Step 4. I am excited about it. Most people freak out thinking about doing it. I hope to find some answers as to why, after so many successful years on various pain meds, was this time different. I want to know why I did the horrible & stupid things I did. I don't want to make the same mistake EVER again. What a gift & blessing the 12 step programs are!
I also go to a church-based 12 step program that is a combination of addicts & family members who have the need to understand the addict/alcoholic in their life. It's just on Monday nights. It's a little less structured, but a good group of people looking for answers. Last night a young girl & her significant other were there. For the first time. She stopped her drug of choice a month ago, but didn't know how to keep it that way. We talked after the meeting & I offered to come pick her up today for the meeting I go to at noon. She very much wanted to go. She met some other addicts in recovery & got more phone numbers.
It was a good small group today. From her 30 days clean to a woman with 27 years clean. So much recovery in 1 room! I bought her a "basic text". It has the basics of recovery in it. It addresses the steps & traditions one at a time. A lot of great info. And stories from addicts. Kind of like "Chicken Soup" series stories. Encouragement. Experience. Strength. Hope. She doesn't realize I paid for it yet because she didn't even want me to buy her a soda today! I like the feeling of paying it forward. I'm taking her again tomorrow. I don't normally go Tuesday or Wednesday, but I'm trying to get her to do 90 meetings in 90 days. That's what is suggested for newcomers. It establishes a routine. It gives the newcomer phone numbers. It makes them accountable for the 1st time in a long time. Do I want to do 90 meetings in 90 days? No. Been there, done that! But, I can get her started. She doesn't have transportation during the day. It is a great feeling for me to give back. That's what life is about. That's living life on life's terms. +

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday


I definitely am not computer savvy. Tried to put a picture of a hammock on the beach at the top of my blog and failed. Five times. I got my toenails up on Tuesday, but apparently photobucket & I do not agree on where I want the picture. Left, center, right. I give up today. But, wait, there's more! I changed computers & went where ALL our pics are. This is of the "Dom" in Cologne, Germany where Amanda interned the summer of 2006. So it's summer, just not the hammock on the beach.....
  • PITTSBURGH PENGUINS WIN THE STANLEY CUP. In game 7, on the opponents home ice. Woo Hoo.
  • Amanda is still the gainfully employed one in the family!
  • Oldest step-daughter a victim of layoffs. She decided to finish her bachelor's. She started back to school June 1st & so far has straight A's. Not bad for 41.
  • Oldest granddaughter tried to sneak a kitten into the house. She just turned 15, but thinks she should be able to do what she wants! It worked for a day. Mom heard this mewing from her room. Ooops.
  • Finished Step 3 with my sponsor. Now onto Step 4.
  • Who cares about the Lakers & the Magic? No one in this house.
  • Love the new JOC CD "The Long Fall back to Earth". Just missed them on harvest.org today out on Long Island. Food seemed more important. Silly me!
  • I'm excited someone I know made caramel corn today. Has the mailman come with my package yet?
  • It's been 4 weeks since graduation & Amanda is back in Waco. She is one of the hostess' for a Sunday Sundae Shower. It's a couples wedding shower. What a great idea! Keeps the guys interested at least for a few minutes.
  • My daughter thinks I twitter too much! She hasn't said it, but I know I do. Yes, she is using twitter, sparingly! Guilted into it by friends, I think. She tweets at least once a day. Today included a twitpic of the sundae toppings.
  • I wouldn't twitter so much if I were WORKING!
  • My toenails still look marvelous, but my manicure was toast by the 3rd day.
Everyone have a great week and keep our friend, Kelly, in your prayers as she goes before a judge to testify to her inability to continue being gainfully employed due to her disability.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Positive Post Tuesday


Haven't done a PPT in a looong time. It certainly isn't because I've been too busy. It's because I've not been as positive as I usually am. The past month has been such a roller coaster. High = Amanda's graduation. Low = Ted losing his job 2 days later. At least it didn't put a damper on graduation.
My positive thing for today is that I used my Mother's Day gift. A mini-paradise day at a local spa. We have a friend who manages & markets it. I got there at 12:15, did a little paper work, selected lunch, and was shown to a massage room.
The massage therapist asked a lot of questions before starting. I liked that since my back is sensitive in a lot of areas. She was great, but in a gentle way. She spent time focusing on my upper & lower back. All those tight muscles! Ahhhh. From there I donned a really sooooft robe and had lunch. There is a little cafe (I'm talking 5 or 6 tables inside, 3 outside) that makes all kinds of artisan breads. They serve wonderful sandwiches for lunch. They also have a hot, blue plate special. And desserts? Oh, my goodness! From choc pie to creme brulee. It's Amanda's fav place to stop at when she's home.
After lunch I was shown to another room for my facial massage & mask. It was heavenly. Never had a facial like that! It was really good, too.
Then on to the pedicure. My first ever! The massage chair just continued the relaxing atmosphere. I went with a hot pink & white polka dots. Amanda hasn't even seen them & she's already embarrassed! Mission accomplished. (hee, hee, hee) Then finally the manicure. My nails are not great, so we just went with a neutral wedding pink color. I really think I've been missing out by waiting so long for a pedicure. My range of motion is so bad that I can't really take care of my feet the way I would like to. I can barely get 1 coat on, let alone polka dots!
It was a wonderful day, but now it's time for the Pittsburgh Penguins to kick a little Detroit Redwings team around the ice. Home ice. White out. Towels waving. Sister-in-law working the game! It's win or stay home (game 7 goes back to Detroit).

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

My friend, Brody, who got me started with blogging some 6 months ago, says bullet points are the rule for Sunday's. Not many peeps read blogs on Sunday, so make it short & sweet.
  • Our daughter is still the only one gainfully employed in the family.
  • Have enjoyed several afternoons in the backyard this week. Reading, napping, contemplating.
  • Excited that Jeremy Camp will be live on God.tv this afternoon at 2:30 CDT.
  • My 23rd anniversary is 2 weeks from today. A card may be his gift....
  • The Penguins really, really stunk last night. The RedWings just totally dominated. Game 6 back in Pittsburgh on Tuesday night.
  • I'm not doing well on my blog posts lately. Being unemployed, I certainly have plenty of time!
  • Oldest step-daughter started summer school Monday. Taking 3 classes. She was laid off in April. Unexpected. So, at 41, she's going to finish her B.S. in Business Admin. Great effort. It's eating her lunch this 1st week!
  • Oldest granddaughter turned 15 the other day! I look back & amazed at how time flies! Especially when they live in Cleveland. The other 4 are ages 2 to 13. With #6 due in August! (same Mom & Dad). The other step-daughter & her hubby have 2 granddogs!
  • "cashing" in my Mother's day gift on Tuesday. A mini spa day. Start at 12:15 and ending around 4:30. Facial, eyezone treatment, massage, European manicure & pedicure. Lunch. I'm excited. I've never had a pedicure or a facial. Woo Hoo.
Keep us in your prayers for job opportunities. We have been vigilant in our search. Moving is a possibility. The worst thing about that is 20 years of "stuff" in this house......

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Sunday, May 31, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

Sunday has rolled around again. I didn't even get a Positive Post Tuesday up. I have turned into a slacker. I don't want to be a slacker! So here's a Sunday post:
  • Enjoyed a Third Day concert from Slovakia online yesterday! It was a little choppy, but still. I've never seen them live before, but been a fan for a long time.
  • No chat room, but several of we die-hards tweeted the whole time.
  • No job prospects for husband or myself. Trying to stay positive. To be anything else is thumbing my nose at my faith & trust in God and His plans for us.
  • Have enjoyed spending several days in the backyard. Reading, doing step-work, just relaxing. Today was too warm & then we had a shower about 5:30. Hoping tomorrow can be a repeat.
  • Furniture in living room stacked due to having ceilings painted. He started Friday & will finish in here tomorrow, then on to the kitchen & dining room.
  • Daughter is "tired" from her first 40 hour weeks! But, still enjoying the fact she has a job.
  • She already needs things out of her storage unit. In Waco. An hour away. Will need man-help to move things to get to what she needs....
  • A Baylor seminary grad student is trying to help plant a new church in Austin this summer. Amanda worked with him at her on-campus job this past year. She likes the group they have so far, but is checking other churches out, too. Austin Stone for one. (Chris Tomlin's old church & where Todd Agnew & his bride attend). It took her 4 or 5 months to decide on a church home in Waco.
  • Enjoy the fact that my husband is picking a project a day to stay busy. Cleaning garage, cleaning stuff above my cabinets in kitchen, you know, generally driving me a little nuts! But, his stress level has gone to peaceful. I like that.
  • Ted loves to cook. He loves to try new things. Not working really has him wanting to try new things! He can make something out of nothing.
  • Penguins lost Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Game 2 has a lot of time left to play. Then to Pittsburgh for 2 games. (they are in Detroit to start).
It's gonna be a great week.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

It's Sunday & I haven't done a SSS in a while. Last Sunday I was at my daughter's graduation from college in case you missed my MONDAY post. This Sunday? Cool & rain clouds, but no rain in this part of town.
  • Went to see "Star Trek" yesterday. Thought it was pretty good. They did such a great job with the make-up, etc. It was kind of eerie seeing the characters so young. Does that make me old?
  • Amanda started her new job. So far, so good. Sleeping on a friend's couch until the friend gets moved out, then she can sleep in a bed again! And then moving some stuff out of storage in Waco & getting it to Austin.
  • Husband lost job on Tuesday. Kind of at a loss. Life sucks sometimes.
  • Back to a year ago when we were looking at leaving Amarillo for work. 20 years worth of closets to clean out.
  • I really hate garage sales. Going to them or having them.
  • Amanda needs to come clean out her own closet & dressers. Talk about a pack rat! If she hasn't needed any of it in 4 years away....
  • Hubby tries to make fun of my lack of enthusiasm, but the garage & attic are FULL of his stuff, projects, and trains he had in the 50's. (yes, 1950).
  • I have great friends I have never even met. You know who you are. You give me strength when I can't seem to feel it. You remind Who is in control. (it's not me, although I want it that way most of the time). You listen when I'm cranky. You cry with me, even though we are miles apart. Thank-you.
  • I thank God for Brody. He brought so many of us together. At first for music. But, eventually for fellowship. From "sea to shining sea" we continue our lives, but include these new friends in our daily life.
  • Guess I'm sounding a little reflective & sentimental today. Think I'll curl up & read a book I got from the library.
It is a good day. I will name 5 things that bring me joy today. 1) God 2) Great husband 3) The roof over my head 4) a happy daughter 5) New friends.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Baylor Graduation

Where to start! We left home Thursday & headed to Llano where my brother & sister-in-law live. We just spent the afternoon & evening having a great visit. Hubby just want to get out of town for a day of nothing. It was accomplished! First time in a long time we got to just visit. No bunches of people at a wedding or graduation. Just quiet time to catch up before they, too, headed to Waco. We missed their daughter's graduation from college last spring, and I have felt guilty ever since! My younger brother stopped by for a few minutes, too. He works nights as a sheriff's deputy for Llano county. It was good to see him, too.
Friday morning we drove the 2 hours to Waco, arriving around 11. We drove to Amanda's apt & guess what? No packing had occurred yet! Amanda had it all sorted & ready to pack. She's OCD like that! She had a plan of action & directions for who would do what. We decided on lunch first, then Wal*Mart for some more storage totes & U-haul for a wardrobe box & big box. We got a lot done Friday afternoon. Moved a 4 runner load full to the storage unit. Got the food for post-graduation ordered. Took a second load to storage unit. Called it a day.
Saturday we started with breakfast; the most important meal of the day! It was cool & rainy. Ran a few errands. One for a cake. We went to this little cake place, off the beaten path. The owner is a member of Amanda's church. We picked a cake & she went to the back to write congrats on it. When she came back, it was great! Then when Ted went to pay, she said it was her gift to Amanda! Thanks, Patsy.
There were so many graduates this year, Baylor had to divide it into 3 commencements. Amanda's was the last, on Saturday at 2:30. We took the cake & tea by the church. We were going to use the Backside for after graduation. Thanks, ubc! Took Amanda back to her apt & we went back to hotel to change. Back to the apt. The plan was to have everyone park there & walk the 3 blocks to the Ferrell Center for graduation, but the rain was a little much. We got everyone to the Ferrell Center & sat just 10 rows up from the stage. We also were by the entrance Amanda actually came out of during the processional.

It only took 2 1/2 hours for the whole ceremony! It was still long! I know my cousin's girls were so bored by the end. When my niece graduated last spring, it was from a very small school.
After the ceremony we took a few pics & gave everyone directions to ubc. They beat us to it! We had a great meal from Risotti's. A couple of Chicago brothers who do pizza right. And the pasta, and the meatballs, and the Italian sausage! We ate til we popped! And then there was cake. And more pics.
3 of Amanda's best friends from college came to graduation & to eat. It was good to see them again. They are all A & M students or grads. Thanks for coming to enjoy this moment with us!
I am so blessed to have such great family and friends to enjoy this time with us. Cherish all the time you can. It goes by so fast!
Sunday morning we went to ubc. It was a little on the low side for attendance without all the students! dc*b rocked the house with 1 new song (hope it's from the new CD) and 2 older ones. Hogan plays such a soulful violin. Love that element in the dc*b. B-wack was really intense. Loved Mark's guitar. There was a baby dedication-5 new babies. The sermon was on finding joy in all days, good or bad. I got teary-eyed several times. She spent so much time in this wonderful place the past 4 years. Got to say good-bye & thanks to so many ubc friends. She has made us so proud.
Back to the apt to finish packing & moving the last load to the storage unit. It was 3 when we finished and got on the road home. I cried. Didn't cry when we left her at Baylor 4 years ago. Amanda is trying not to cry. I couldn't help it. I am so excited for her and so proud.
I am thankful for the friends she has made these past 4 years. She does know several in Austin. She is sub-leasing this summer while she looks for her own place. Friends I don't know, but trust. They met through iWitness, so I know they have a common love! It's a new phase of life & growing up. For all of us. Hope I didn't bore everyone!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Positive Post Tuesday

I have been in kind of a frumpy mood the past few weeks. Not doing a PPT because I felt I didn't have anything positive going on in my life. I don't know why we get like this. God is right there with us, every step of the way. So where does the frump come from & why? I've decided it's to learn something. I am so thankful God is so faithful. Because I am not so much of the time.
A lot of my frustration is work, or the lack thereof. I really burned a lot of bridges in my active addiction. Lost a lot of co-workers trust. This led to lower self-esteem. I have come a long way in 22 months of recovery. I have confidence in myself again. I feel good about myself again. A lot of pharmacies don't want to have to "supervise" me 4 hours a week & write a quarterly report. Being unemployed since November has kind of deflated my self-esteem again. I know "this too shall pass" and "the right job is out there". But, living on unemployment stinks. I make more in 1 day than the max that I get from unemployment in a week. It has been a humbling experience. A learning experience.
My most positiveness comes from my daughter right now. After 4 years at Baylor, she is graduating. She never changed her major and is graduating on time! Thank goodness. Saturday she walks across a stage, Monday she walks into a job! The job isn't necessarily marketing, but could turn into that. She had to lower her sights a little and watching her go through that has been encouraging to me. But, she is ok with it. I know she will miss her church & many friends in Waco, but she is only an hour away. She has left her mark at her church by volunteering her time for the Children's Church for the past 6 months. They are being gracious enough to let us use the kitchen/dining area Sat after graduation for dinner for all of our family that are coming.
Her job? I can now show you. You need to go to this website. It is an impressive place. I know she is excited because one benefit it is free use of the exercise room & there is cycling. She loves the cycling! This is in a beautiful, wooded area in SW Austin. It is the Lake Austin Spa Resort. I am excited for her. She is so outgoing, that I know she can make a mark there. She has many friends in Austin & family an hour north. It's about 8 hours for us.
It's funny really, how God works. Last year my niece took a job at a school about an hour from us! Now, Amanda will be about an hour from my brother!
Life really is good. I MUST find that positive part of each day. No matter how down I feel. There is always something to learn from every single day. Good or bad. Positive or negative. It is all a blessing from God.
Have a great Tuesday!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

Today is Mother's Day. So much to be thankful for. To me every day of my life since my daughter was born is Mother's Day! I am blessed with such an awesome child. Getting teary-eyed just thinking about the past 22 Mother's Days! Here are my random thoughts for a Sunday:
  • Daughter graduates from Baylor on Saturday afternoon. It seems like she just graduated high school!
  • Daughter got job offer on Friday. Will accept tomorrow. Neat place to start out! Not what she imagined, but it is where God wants her right now.
  • We will drive down on Thursday. Going a little out of the way & staying with brother & family Thursday night. Time for a visit without some function to interrupt the conversation. Will go on to Waco Friday.
  • She will start work 2 days after graduation. Not a lot of time! Hopefully she will sublease for the summer & have a few weeks to find a place of her own. She's already thinking ahead.
  • Spent 3 hours yesterday afternoon at a Regional meeting of NA. First one I've attended. We are in a huge (sq miles wise) region. In West Texas it's like from "sea to shining sea". Only without the sea.
  • NA's 12th tradition states: "Principles (spiritual) before personalities". I think some folks tend to forget that! I know that when I run on self-will, things don't get done as well. That's the way such meetings should be; NOT run on a bunch of self-wills. Oh, well.
  • Daughter gave me a 5 hour "mini spa day". It includes facial, pedicure, manicure, lunch, & more! I've never had a pedicure or a facial. I'm pretty excited. Wish she could come & go with me.
  • Still no job. Got a couple of calls to make tomorrow. One I interviewed with a year ago, but because of the blip on my license, they wouldn't even give me a chance.
  • It's been a quiet day. That's the way I like it.
  • Really want to see "Star Trek". Didn't have time this weekend. Amanda saw it & loved it. She's not familiar with the original series, so I think that says alot about the writers. They bridged the gap somehow. Said it's a little long. For me that means getting squirmy & uncomfortable the last hour. I still want to go.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

Today is Sunday & that means following this guy's suggestion. Since no one reads blogs on Sunday, the numbers game is down. I have found it doesn't matter the day, my numbers always disappoint me a little. I really do find it cathartic at times, so numbers aren't really what I'm after.

  • It has been cool & cloudy for 3 days. Hardly any rain. If you are going to be cloudy, produce something sky!
  • Countdown to graduation. 13 days & counting. Now if she could just find a job....
  • Wish I were on a plane, on my way to the Music Boat. Sure are a bunch of tweeps going. Sounds like a fun time. So much food on a cruise. Simple to elegant.
  • Got to see pics of Brody's gift from the Blog Nation faithful. Mike Donehey's (of Tenth Ave North) Dad made us proud when he met up with Brody at the Doves. Thanks, Mr D.
  • Was absent last Sunday. Was in Austin for a mandatory seminar. Didn't have access to a computer. It was a long road trip. I drove by myself Saturday. Attended seminar Sunday morning. Drove to brother's house an hour from Austin to visit & stay the night. Drove rest of the way home Monday.
  • It was good to visit without a reason. No graduation. No wedding. Just us. Watched me a little NASCAR. Will see them again at graduation.
  • Also, worked 3 days week before last. At pharmacy I was laid off from. The other 2 pharmacists went to a "shot" clinic CE. It was great to see friends & catch up. Co-workers & customers alike.
  • May have another recovery-based project to work on with the advocate overseer. Would include dentists & pharmacists.
  • Need to do a little cleaning. The lady who helps me every 2 weeks is with her mother who is in the last stages of cancer. My range of motion & pain level don't like cleaning. I will keep it light.
Guess that's all this week. (actually, the last 2 weeks). Hubby gone to coach his softball team from work. Think he wishes he had a least 1 ringer! He wants try-outs for next years team. Ha! Have a blessed week.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Positive Post Tuesday

I have been a slacker the past 2 weeks. No SSS. No PPT. No excuses. I was thinking I have nothing to say that matters. That is not positive! The disease of addiction wants me to think negative. Not see me in a good light. It is so powerful sometimes. Not the obsession part. That has been gone for months. But, the feeling that I have nothing to offer. Then a conversation comes along that makes all the work I've put into recovery a little more worthwhile.
When my Board order was put into effect in August 2007, my whole mindset was that I would do what was put out in the order & the contract that the PRN (professional recovery network-for RPh's & Dentists) and no more. Attend & complete an outpatient program (IOP), do 90 meetings in 90 days, get a sponsor, sign up for random drug screens, and continue at least 4 meetings per week for the duration of said order. That was so much I could not see any light at the end of the tunnel. I was only going to find out what to do & then I could safely take narcotics again. WRONG.
Every day since then has been a day without drugs. The obsession is gone. I made the 90 in 90. I finished IOP. I do random drug screens (all clean). I do at least 4 meetings a week. These are all the things I HAD to do.
Now for all the things I do because I WANT to. I usually attend more than 4 meetings a week. I chair a meeting every week & have for a year. I go to the Area meetings and have a small role in our Regional NA business. I am real active in other service work. I serve as secretary for an area sub-committee that serves as Public Information. I recently stepped down at the end of a 6 month committment as Panel Leader for taking weekly meetings to our local detox unit. It is such a treat to be of service. It somehow completes my foundation of recovery.
Now possibly a new adventure. All because of addiction! Amarillo is kind of isolated up in the Panhandle of Texas. All of West Texas (from here to El Paso) is kind of isolated! Part of my contract with PRN is to attend at least 1 seminar (CE) per year that they put on. It deals with addiction/recovery. The Spring seminar was this past weekend in Austin. There are at least 4 RPh's from Amarillo. Not sure how many dentists. There is a regional monthly meeting group in the larger, more populated areas of Texas. Not in Amarillo at this time. The PRN staff is looking at developing one in the Panhandle & talked with me a little bit about helping to put it together. I know it's a compliment, but addicts are hard headed when it comes to accepting compliments! I tend to think it's also because I'm not working and because I'm a woman. We just organize stuff better!
The other thing I've thought about for these past 2 years is reaching out to pharmacy students. There is a School of Pharmacy in Amarillo (thru Texas Tech). I've never considered myself to be a good speaker, but I felt like it was something I wanted to look in to. I met another pharmacist from Houston who speaks to 1st year students at the University of Houston School of Pharmacy. It was a God thing. She left before I could get her contact info, but 1 of the guys from Amarillo has known her for years.
Keep these last two things on your prayer list. I don't want to jump in to either without being ready. I always knew there was a reason I became addicted later in life. I am an example. Now I need to become that recovering example. There is life after active addiction.