Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Positive Post Tuesday

Am trying to stay positive (and prayerful) for Bart & Shannon Millard. (Mercyme frontman & wife). They have a sweet baby girl born in December, Sophie, who has contracted RSV. She has been in the hospital several days & had to be moved to ICU overnight. Keep them in your prayers. Those of us who spent the month of November following the MM crew as they toured on live, streaming video, became acutely aware of Sophie's impending birth. Daddy loves those kids! Bart kept us posted via twitter. Who does that? What a love for their fans! Gotta love twitter!
Some mmSLOBs are calling for prayer & fasting tomorrow, Wednesday, Jan 28th. Do what you can to lift this family up. I know they feel the power of our prayers. "We" is so much stronger than "me".
Went up the icy road to the TWC (Tx Workforce Commission) this morning. Mandatory job training when applying for unemployment benes. Was really, really BORED. And I get to go back again tomorrow for Part II. What joy, what fun. But, we need the income.
Please, does someone need a recovering addict Pharmacist? I am really in recovery-18 months clean. Working on Step 3, serving in several areas, and being a sponsor, too. Have worked at 2 independent pharmacies and have good references. And I'm really fun to work with. Try me, you'll like me! :)
Amanda got her 1st request for an interview letter this past week. Woo, hoo, the job hunt starts! I am excited for her. She still has so much to give to the people of this world. Both intellectually and spiritually. She loves kids, she love sports, she loves serving the Lord anywhere He puts her. Even as children's church director (volunteer position) while carrying a full load her last semester and working at the Student Life Center on campus.
Amanda just texted from work. She just set up a time for the interview in Austin!! Friday, this week. It's a marketing firm that does event planning for sporting events. They are trying to hire 12 new people because of growing business. Keep her in your prayers. Thanks.
Guess that's it for today. As I finish listening to Addison Road's "Hope Now". "your love sets me free".

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

Wow, it's Sunday again. Funny how that seems to roll around every 7 days. Sitting here, under a warm blankie, trying to sort thru random thoughts. This guy does it best, although this lady also does a nice job.
  • Super Bowl Sunday is still a whole week away. :(
  • Nice story on the Rooney family (they own the Steelers) in our little, local Sunday sports section. Woo hoo.
  • Still job hunting. Have to go to TWC for "seminars" on how to write resumes, etc. BORING, but necessary for unemployment.
  • My 22 year old got her 1st letter about setting up an interview for a job after graduation in May. Big woo hoo. With a marketing/events company in Austin.
  • My 3 year old granddaughter was bored the other day & asked mom could she empty the dishwasher. And she did. Put everything away she could-and in the right place!
  • Had unseasonable WARM weather again this past week. About 20 to 25 degrees above normal. Still no measurable precip since Dec 10th. DRY.
  • Time to be writing my mandatory, quarterly report to the Tx State Board of Pharmacy. Telling them what I've been doing the past 3 months. How many NA meetings, work, attitude, etc. Maybe I could do it like SSS! Nah, there at little too serious for bullets.
  • It's laundry day. My sweet, sweet husband does it all. My back can't do it all in one day anymore. Time for me to shower-I'm getting a glare-it's in-between loads-and if I don't want to share my water, I'd better hurry, or he'll start another load. He doesn't like stoppage in his routine!
That's all. Is it Super Bowl Sunday yet? The Steeler Nation awaits.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Positive Post Tuesday

Inauguration Day, 2009.
It doesn't matter anymore who you voted for, we must keep in prayer this new administration! Everyone has their opinion, but as this guy reminded us earlier today, not to set our expectations on this new President too high.
Something I have learned in recovery is just that. Setting expectations too high will be followed by a big letdown. I have had to relearn how not to set those expectations so high. It is through prayer and working the steps that is working for me. Being such a self-centered and selfish person only leads to disappointment. It's how an addict likes to live. With life in chaos. Nobody can do things the "right" way. I am so glad that I don't live that lie of a life anymore!
Expectations are still needed. I still need to set goals for myself. If I don't, I have nothing to achieve. It has been hard to "scale back". I want to achieve much more in my life. God is there every step, never leaving my side. He has given me such a blessed life in recovery.
My prayers for this new administration is just such a life. We must not expect things to change by tomorrow. Many people have already put unattainable expectations on Mr. Obama. That is so ridiculous! He is not going to change things overnight like many think. Tomorrow is a new day, but no laws will change effective tomorrow. I am tired of people saying that. Mr. Obama is the new President. Pray for him, as you would for any President. He is just a man. Not a scary man. Give him a chance before condeming his ideas.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

Steelers Win, Steelers Win!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Steelers win the AFC and are marching back to the Super Bowl in Tampa on February 1,2009.
  • When the Steelers win the Super Bowl they will become the most winning team in Super Bowl history.
  • Loved it when my man, Troy Polamalu, intercepting AND taking it in for a touchdown!
  • Still no job. Applied for unemployment this week. Never have done that before.
  • Attended our Area NA meeting today and was nominated for a small regional position. It's amazing what happens sometimes. One of those God things. Again! So many opportunities, I just have to pay attention.
  • Now I have to attend Area, instead of flipping a coin every month. It is also highly suggested to attend Regional meetings every other month. Our region is HUGE. Next meeting is 7 hours away. Gotta love West Texas. Especially cuz it's so far east it's almost in Austin. My husband thinks I'm just a little nuts!
  • Can't get 3D's song "Revalation" out of my head. Love the words to that song. I so feel I haven't got a clue so much of the time.
  • Wish there were some Christian concerts closer than 4 hours away (OKC) this spring. Dallas is 6 hours, Albuquerque is 5 hours. That stinks.
  • Gorgeous week ahead. Still no winter here. 15 to 20 degrees above normal all week long. Only had the one small snowstorm back on December 9th or 10th. Only precip in about 3 & 1/2 months.
Sometimes I hate "living life on life's terms". There are good days & bad, but no longer a blur. I celebrated 18 months without pain meds this past week. That's a long time in addict time. So many people have been in & out of the program in 18 months. Some have never come back. That's why I love to give back to the program. If I reach just 1 person, that is a victory.
Have a great week. Until next SSS.....

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Positive Post Tuesday

I've decided to make my PPT like SSS:
  • Steelers won on Sunday (in case you didn't read my SSS on Sunday)
  • My friend Lisa has her "hot list" on Total Axxess tonight. I've got a prior commitment, but another friend is recording it just for me. \0/
  • We are still above normal for our winter temps, unlike much of the country. So little moisture that burn bans are in effect.
  • My daughter is in her final semester of college (we hope). She just left Friday to go back to school. It was her last long stay at home (we hope).
  • Still no job prospects, but I believe I am supposed to be learning about humility. As a teenager, my parents struggled financially. I lived humbly then, but as I became my own person I forgot about those lean days. Until now. I hate feeling inadequate. Continuing to take those steps of faith is so important. God is good and He alone will walk step for step with me. What a great peace that gives me.
  • I get great encouragement from friends I've never met. From Hawaii to Nebraska. From Indiana to Florida. From all over Texas. Thanks.
  • I also find great solace in the variety of music I listen to. Including MYNH. I'm always up for music I've never heard!
  • My greatest peace comes when I just stop and listen. When I stop and remember who's arms I've got around me. The One who's arms are big enough for us all. The One who knows my every need. Feels my every sadness. Rejoices in my leaps of faith.
  • It's almost time for Wordless Wednesday. Whew!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

It is Super Sunday!!!!!!
  • Steelers win, Steelers win.
  • Does anything else matter?
  • Wore my Steeler socks today, guess they are luckier that my Polamalu Starter shirt.
  • Have about 6 terrible towels to pick from; 5 or 6 gold, 1 black.
  • Even have the green weanie if needed. (don't ask)
  • Had THE best chicken noodle soup last night. Broth frozen on Thanksgiving from boiling the carcass with veggies. And making homemade egg noodles. My sore forearms are proof of how thin those noodles were. mmmmm.
  • What a weekend. ALMOST every visiting team won. One guess on who did not!!
  • Baltimore in Pittsburgh for 2nd time this season. Next Sunday. Don't be late.
  • Steelers beat Baltimore twice already.
  • Yes, this guy's team beat the Steelers this season. Not to worry that they got beat by Baltimore yesterday. \0/ \0/ \0/
  • Am wondering, just ever so little, why do I not have a job? I know part of it is that God is trying to teach me humility right now. I really hate those kind of reminders. I relate it to weakness. I know it isn't, but it sure feels that way sometimes.
  • Why must I be so stubborn & resistant to change? Because I need to be in control? I do not. I just need to listen and learn.
  • Oh, and in case you forgot....STEELERS WIN,STEELERS WIN!!!!
  • Learned something new about my blog. I linked 2 little words to somebody else's blog! Woo,hoo.
Everyone have a wonderful week & remember: STEELERS WIN, STEELERS WIN. : )

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Positive Post Tuesday

I am so blessed to be on this journey I'm on. It is only by God's grace that I am where I am in my life. If I had continued on the rocky path of addiction, the results could have been more devastating than they were. Now that I have taken my life back, I can see the path much better. Numbing my pain & my mind had me walking through a mine field. That feeling of being all alone, lost, and confused is not something I want to dwell on, but finally recognizing I had a problem was so freeing.
Realizing I was lost, but had not lost the spiritual principles I already knew, was a great relief. Re-connecting with God was an even greater relief. He never left me. He never judged me. He never forgot about me when I had clearly forgotten about Him. His strength and encouragement sometimes overwhelms me. He has sent the most wonderful people into my path in the past 18 months. It brings tears to my eyes to think of all the blessings from those people. People from all walks of life, people from all across the Continental US & HI, people I never would have met had I not fallen.
Does that mean I'm glad I'm an addict in recovery? Not really, but this was and is God's plan for me. I must continue the walk along this path, that only God knows. If I try to venture out alone, He will somehow remind me to get my rear back on the path. He has the map, if I would just quit being so human and ignoring the signs along the way!
I can read the map a whole lot better with the encouragement of others and not on my own. Life is not meant to be a journey alone. Thank goodness for the journey with friends.

Monday, January 5, 2009

The New Year has officially started

How can starting a new year be so exciting and a big letdown at the same time?
  • Still no job prospects, but I stay encouraged. If I am working my 12 step program and "establishing a matter of authority" each day, how can I not stay encouraged.
  • Can't remember where I saw this is the past couple of days, either twitter or someone's blog, but it should be the mantra of all. "Aspire to inspire before you expire". If I could just live my life according to the way Jesus did, I can be inspiring to someone every day.
  • Have seen a lot of "whining" today, not only because it's Monday, but many people have gone back to work after being off over the holidays. I wish I had work to whine about!
  • The Steelers play San Diego this weekend. Can hardly wait.
  • Ole Miss beat Texas Tech in the Cotton Bowl. That was unexpected!
  • I have met some wonderful people through this internet thing. I just wish I lived close enough to meet them.
  • My daughter will graduate from COLLEGE in May. Seems we just had a graduation party when she graduated high school in 2005. Where did these 4 years go? My wonderful teenager is now 22 & has lived on her own for 3 years already. Hard to say, but my baby has grown up.
  • Even with all this encouragement, I somehow feel down. Maybe meeting with my sponsor tonight will help with that. Maybe paying attention to what I have read and typed today will help lift me up.
  • Sometimes it's hard to pray when I'm feeling like this, because I don't feel worthy of God's grace. It's so parallel to the way addiction "speaks" to a recovering addict. The evil in this world so wants to rule my life and I do not want that. I am worthy. I know that, but that "little voice" is sometimes so darn loud.
  • I haven't seen my parents in 2 years. They live about 7 hours from me & I am expected to be the one to come to them. Yes, they are 78, but they travel with a 5th-wheel 4 or 5 months out of the year, so they are able-bodied (for the most part). Why not stop here? We can't always take vacation days at the last minute to come for the weekend. It goes both ways. I could go on, but that really isn't my focus today. It is some of the reason I'm a little down, though.
  • A friend is reminding me via twitter, to "count it pure joy, when the world comes crashing". The song by MM, "Alright". Gave me a smile. Thanks, Evan.
  • I really am excited about growing in my walk with God and so excited for all the new input I'm getting from all my friends, both internet & NA friends. I am a beautiful child of God.

2009 will go as God has planned. It is up to me to listen for the directions. Why is that so hard sometimes. Because I'm human. As a human, I will make mistakes, I will forget to listen, but God will NEVER go another direction. He always has my back; to catch me when I trip & fall along the path. Thank goodness.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Stats Suck Sunday

What to throw out there? Sometimes it is hard to get started, but then once I get going, it just kind of flows. It's that first thing that needs to grab a reader (and me!).
  • Steelers play San Diego next weekend (at home). Get those terrible towels out & wave them proudly!
  • Still have no job & no propects. Sometimes I get discouraged, but I know that with patience and friends who believe in me, I will survive. Brody & Kristin had a tough year & I look how far Brody's dream has blossomed. Their faith encourages me.
  • My daughter is home for 4 more days. Classes restart on the 12th. Her last "Christmas break". Next year she'll have to request days off from work (I hope). She loves marketing & event planning and the Dallas area.
  • I wish there were some concerts coming Amarillo's way this spring, but it's not looking good for my favs to come here.
  • I'm thinking about the Aquire the Fire tour in Ok City. Hmmm. Gotta get a J-O-B first.
  • Wondering why it was 73 yesterday & 33 so far today. And that Texas Panhandle wind just never quits. Wind chill must be in teens.
  • Still laughing about Randy and his scooter. Last Sunday he left the keys in it, this Sunday involved a downpour. Sorry Randy.
  • So excited that my alma mater, Ole Miss, won the Cotton Bowl! What happened to that jewel of a team from Texas Tech? I have no idea, but Ole Miss came to play.
  • Did I mention I'm cold?
  • Taking down Christmas decorations makes me sad.
  • Left out a few snowmen, because we've had almost no snow so far, and I needed a reminder that it's winter. (other than the fact that it's cold outside)
  • Hope my pic is not on hundreds of blogs.
  • Daughter still thinks her mother has lost her mind, with all this twittering & blogging & reading other peoples blogs & watching the same concert over & over. But, they are different every night.

Guess that's enough for one Sunday. Living life on life's terms gives me a headache sometimes and I must remember that I only live for today. Yesterday is gone & tomorrow isn't here yet. And God has my back. There's a lesson to be learned every day, but I sometimes to forget listen for the message. I want to become a better listener.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New Year

What lies ahead in this new year, 2009? I have read 4 or 5 blogs today and chaired an NA meeting at noon. That God thing is happening today. Everything to me had a theme. It's ok to be excited & plan ahead, but stay vigilant that it is God's plan, too. I sometimes get so caught up what I'm doing I forget to ask God is this what I'm supposed to be doing!?
My biggest plan is to find a job. Where does God want me? I don't know, but I must remain vigilant in my listening for Him. I must guard against those "little voices" that could destroy my plans.
My daughter will graduate from Baylor in May. I am excited for her and what she will be doing 6 months from now! It's scary for her & me, but again she must remain vigilant and listen for God's plan. It may not be what she wants to do, but I know she will end up where God wants her to be. She is focusing on the Dallas area. She wants to do event planning type stuff with her degree in Marketing. Keep her in your prayers.
Repairing relationships is another "wish" for the New Year. Not damaged because of my addiction, but a parent with a hard heart. It seems to harden more with each passing year. She has missed 1 grandaughter's graduation from college (my niece in May) and the same grandaughter getting married (in August). She is on track to miss my daughter's graduation. Because she's mad at me. Over something petty. She loves to make herself miserable and it's hard sometimes not to get caught up in her drama. There, again, is the need for vigilance. I cannot go down in flames. I will not go down in flames. But, it's hard. I want so bad for her to accept her mistakes & turn them over to God. I can't make her do anything, but I can pray for her. It's her choice, not mine. I don't understand, but I must trust God has His reasons. Keep her in your prayers.
Stay vigilant and remember to never let that guard down. God has our back, so don't forget He's right there, right now, for always.