Positive Post Tuesday

Well, it's been Tuesday all day long, and I have pondered all day long. What is positive today? Right now. I could still continue to be ticked that I still don't have a job. I could be negative because I have bills to pay & my unemployment didn't deposit today AND the stupid Workforce Commission was "unable to handle my call" ALL day long. No way to leave a message, nothing.
Then I go to Aftercare. It's every Tuesday night. It's a combination of people from all walks of recovery. Mostly people who are in or have been in IOP (intensive out-patient treatment program). It is one of the requirements of my board order. Tonight, the topic was gratitude. One guy, who is the philosophical one of the bunch, told us how he felt that 1st night in IOP. It reminded me of how I felt. Everything he said, I either felt or went through. Sometimes it's good to have those little reminders to make me grateful that I am an addict.
Grateful to be an addict? Yes. A recovering addict. God had my life planned out before I was born, before I took my first breath of air. That is hard to wrap my head around sometimes. The people I have met in recovery, the reconnection with God, and the people I have met through a live, streaming concert last fall. Wow. So many things that God has put in front of me. I am grateful I don't have to make any more decisions without help. It's all God. Whether it's me listening for His take or the people God puts in my life to give me their advice, it's God.
Do I still have guilt & shame? Yes, but I don't have to dwell on it. It is more of a fleeting thought. I do have amends to make, but I'm not equipped with the tools I need yet. That's the beauty of working the steps. They show me how to take my life back, one step at a time. Along with God, working the steps show me how to live. And how to act rather that react. How to be excited about what's ahead in my life.
I am grateful to be clean. 20 months tomorrow. Wow! 2 years ago I had just been in Austin, before the Pharmacy Board. Scared to death. Feeling like no one was on my side. Nothing was my fault. I was in control. Now? I'm sitting here shaking my head! Who was that girl? She was so sick. I believe it is a huge part of recovery for me to pass my story on to others. That's what was done for me & it helps refuel me today to pass on my experience, strength & hope. What a joy. What an honor. Now that is positive.

Stats Suck Sunday

Ok, it's Sunday. I think I have that much right! My life in bullet points.

• We had so much wind yesterday, our sky was brown. There has been almost no measurable moisture this winter. Two 1" snows. That's it. So, when the wind blows in the Texas Panhandle (and it does every day), it looked like the Dustbowl pics.
• Lots of dust also means: ALLERGY problems. Runny nose, watery eyes, phttt feeling.
• There is no wind today. Yeah!
  
• Daughter didn't come home on her last Spring Break. Boo.
• Husband's birthday is Wednesday. 59. Not a clue as to what he wants or needs. Boo.
• Our friend, Robert, who had the heart attack 3 weeks ago & was pretty much dead? In a regular room now, with no tubes, no iv's, just heart monitor. Praise God. Thank-you to all who have been praying. He's not "well". He has a lot of damage that cannot be repaired.
  
• Have had fun following this guy as he travels from Sacramento to Nashville across I-40. Helping his father-in-law move his stuff.
  
• The Roadshow starts in 10 days. Billings, Mt. The website has TONS of info on who & where & other such info. I know I'm excited.
• Still no job. No offers. Very few calls. Those calls are usually for jobs far, far away. Can't relocate without hubby. The economy is very scary.

Well, time flies when you're having fun. I am done with this post. And it hardly took any time. I think.

•