After reading a friend's post today I got to thinking about the testimony I used to give as a 20-something. In the past 19 months God has been working one minor miracle after another. The greatest thing has been learning NOT to worry and not to be paranoid. I'm still working on the latter, although it has improved.
In college I gave my testimony a lot in conjunction with Campus Crusade for Christ activities. I started out with talking about my worry beads (my grandmother gave me that visual). How many beads long it used to be! God took those beads away, one at a time. I learned a lesson each time a bead left the necklace. What a positive experience I gained from sharing my testimony! It's hard to believe it's been 30 years ago. I must be getting older. Ha!
Somewhere along the way in those 30 years, I become lost. Getting married, having a child, working, traveling with child for volleyball. So many distractions. I eventually filled that spiritual void with drugs. But, they were prescribed! I did NOT have a problem; it was everyone else in the world. When faced with losing my license, I chose treatment. I discovered that God had always been there. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Waiting for me to remember what I had been missing. Even through all the adversity, God remained with me. I have learned so much about myself. I found my faith again. I found my God again. I found that I could refill that spiritual void!
Another friend who loves tweet inspiring quotes all day, had a great quote that works with PPT. Today is a quote from him: "What good is success unless you're enjoying life and positively impacting others?"- Jason Mitchener
I am now enjoying my life again! And I am positively impacting others through the way I am living life again. Especially other addicts. I take my 12 step program seriously. It charges me with giving back. God charges me with giving back. For my spirit to be full again, I must give back unconditionally. It's not an ego thing. It's a heartfelt thing. It's being a positive thing.
I can't go back and change anything. I wouldn't want to change anything. Everything that has happened has helped me to grow. I found myself again. Not that numbed person I was for so long. Moving through life day-to-day, mechanically. I want to leave a positive footprint that others might find comforting.