Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Goodbye 2008, Hello New Year

2008 was not a fantastic year, but it was better than 2007. It started out rocky with my husband out of work. In March we were both out of work. In May we both went back to work, but Ted was in Colorado & I remained in Amarillo. It was tough. He would drive up each Monday morning & come back to Amarillo on Friday night. It took a toll on us both. I found a job working part-time at an independent pharmacy. As part of the probation on my license, I must work at least 20 hours a week. When I am unemployed that time gets tacked on to the amount of time my license is on probation.
Prayers were answered in June when a job in Amarillo came open & Ted could give notice in Colorado & come home to stay! I am glad, because after 19 years in this house, I did NOT want to clean out closets! They scare me.
I was laid off in November. I'm still trying to figure out God's plan there. Why is it we don't get a memo when we don't understand. What is the lesson here? I don't know yet, but I know there is one & a plan that will bring me to a new journey. Faith, not fear. Faith, not fear. Faith, not fear.
2008 was the 1st full year without narcotics. Some days are easier than others. God have given me a strength that is sometimes hard to explain to others. Probably because it overwhelms me. The easiest way for me to explain my life, is to just to live my life each day the way I think God wants me to. It isn't always easy. The greatest part of all of this is the urge to steal from my employer is gone! That can only come from God. And from me following a program of recovery. It is the only way to keep my license & continue doing what I love to do. I miss working.
In 10 days I will have 18 months clean. I love the 12 step program I'm following. I love being of service within that fellowship. Anything is possible! Learning how to "live life on life's terms" is a one-day-at-a-time process. I can't change what I did yesterday and I sure can't worry about tomorrow-it's not even here yet. Focus on today. Staying clean, helping another addict, praising God for what I have today. 2009 is going to be wonderful.


race_12_1 said...

Shellie--what you said about "I can't change what I did yesterday and I can't worry about tomorrow" is true for everyone!!! Anyone who lingers on what they did yesterday will never grow, and anyone who worries about tomorrow will miss what God is doing with them and for them today =))

Lisa said...

This next year IS going to be wonderful! You're on the right track with living in today. I need to learn to do that, and to do it from the heart. That's where I can say I fell short in '08. It's easier to shut down and just go through the motions of life, and not really live from your heart. I'm working on it, but when you put your heart out there, it can takes hits, and that hurts. You may have dulled the pain in your body with drugs, I dulled the pain in my heart with disconnecting. There really aren't support groups for that. Or are there? You and some other Christian friends, whether you know it or not, have been teaching me how to really live again. Thanks for that!